Good members of V.F.D.
Other random bits of information
Baudelaire, age 14. Skilled at inventing things.
Her last name is pronounced Bow-duh-lair, according to
Baudelaire, age 13. Skilled at research. His
first name is pronounced Klowse, NOT Kloz.
Baudelaire, age infant. (She has just recently learned
to walk and is about the size of a watermelon, if that is any help.)
Skilled at biting things.
Quagmire, who is the same age as his sister, Isadora.
Skilled at journalism.
Quagmire, who is the same age as her brother, Duncan.
Skilled at writing poetry.
Quagmire, who is the same age as his siblings. Thought
to have died in the fire that destroyed the Quagmire mansion, but I
am firmly convinced he is only MANIA. (Missing And Not In
(a.k.a. members of the darker side of V.F.D.)
Olaf. Skilled at being
filthy, despicable, and otherwise one of the world's six worst
villains. Currently after the Baudelaire fortune and/or the
famous Quagmire sapphires.
Squalor. Skilled at being a lousy actress, being the
city's sixth most important financial advisor, knowing what is in,
and assisting Count Olaf in his filthy and despicable schemes.
Currently dating Count Olaf, despite the fact that she is already
married to Jerome Squalor (see the Clueless Adults section, below).
assistants, including a bald man with a long nose (deceased),
one who looks like neither a man nor a woman (also deceased), a man
with hooks where hands should be, and two white-faced women.
Georgina Orwell (deceased). While alive, she was an
optometrist, a phrase which here means someone pretending to
be an eye doctor but really spending her time hypnotizing children
in order to steal their fortunes.
alias Madame Lulu (deceased). Even if her intentions were
good, she became a villain when, in the end, she gave Count Olaf
what he wanted, not the Baudelaires as she had promised.
members of V.F.D.
Snicket. (currently collecting more information)
Snicket (deceased). Tried to help the Baudelaires in
the Village of Fowl Devotees, but Count Olaf got to him first.
Baudelaire. Presumed dead. If alive, whereabouts
the Duchess of Winnipeg. If alive, whereabouts
unknown. Presumed captured or dead.
Anwhistle (deceased). He was Aunt Josephine's husband,
in case you don't remember.
K., the teacher at Prufrock Prep who was hired and fired in
TUAB. Sometimes thought to be K. Snicket, although don't
teachers usually go by their last names?
I am putting him here because he might be in V.F.D. A lot of
people think he is. Personally, I doubt it because even if the
Baudelaires are being recruited and he wanted to see how they'd do
on their own, he would have probably tried harder
to save Jacques.
It's a distinct possibility since she signs her letters With
all due respect.
Sebald (deceased). Developed Sebald Code and directed
about a zillion B movies.
Quagmires' parents. Fact: Their mansion was green, just
like the Baudelaires'. Fact: The Quags are being pursued by
Count Olaf. Currently there is zero evidence that suggests
they might be alive.
married couple who own the Prospero
lot of random people whom we only know by their first
Poe. You would think the Vice President in Charge of
Orphan Affairs at Mulctuary Money Management would do a better job
of looking after the Baudelaires, but sadly, all he ever does is
Strauss. I doubt she is
in V.F.D. She's too ditzy. But there's a Judge Disguise
in the (in)famous V.F.D. Disguise Kit, so anything's possible.
He's the guy from TMM who also failed to help the Baudelaires.
Nero. Anyone that stupid doesn't belong on the streets,
let alone in V.F.D.
Squalor. I feel rather sorry for him, but complete
oblivion to what's going on around him is no excuse.
Colette, and Kevin,
unless Count Olaf has inducted them into V.F.D. by now.
Julienne. Someone needs to take away her press pass...
unless she's really an associate of Count Olaf's.
random bits of information
Count wears an eye on his ankle,
He lives in a horrible place,
He wants all your money,
Hes never at all funny,
He wants to remove your face...
From Scream and Run Away, as performed by the Baudelaire
mulct, as in Mulctuary Money Management, can mean to
punish. Whether intentionally or not, Mr. Poe is doing a very good
job of it.