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A Series of Unfortunate Events
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The Characters (you are here)
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V.F.D.
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The Characters

Heroes
Villains
Good members of V.F.D.
Clueless adults
Other random bits of information

Heroes

  • Violet Baudelaire, age 14.  Skilled at inventing things.  Her last name is pronounced “Bow-duh-lair,” according to the audiotapes.

  • Klaus Baudelaire, age 13.  Skilled at research.  His first name is pronounced “Klowse,” NOT “Kloz.”

  • Sunny Baudelaire, age infant.  (She has just recently learned to walk and is about the size of a watermelon, if that is any help.) Skilled at biting things.

  • Duncan Quagmire, who is the same age as his sister, Isadora.  Skilled at journalism.

  • Isadora Quagmire, who is the same age as her brother, Duncan.  Skilled at writing poetry.

  • Quigley Quagmire, who is the same age as his siblings.  Thought to have died in the fire that destroyed the Quagmire mansion, but I am firmly convinced he is only MANIA.  (Missing And Not In Action)

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Villains (a.k.a. members of the darker side of V.F.D.)

  • Count Olaf.  Skilled at being filthy, despicable, and otherwise one of the world's six worst villains.  Currently after the Baudelaire fortune and/or the famous Quagmire sapphires.

  • Esmé Squalor.  Skilled at being a lousy actress, being the city's sixth most important financial advisor, knowing what is in, and assisting Count Olaf in his filthy and despicable schemes.  Currently dating Count Olaf, despite the fact that she is already married to Jerome Squalor (see the Clueless Adults section, below).

  • Olaf's assistants, including a bald man with a long nose (deceased), one who looks like neither a man nor a woman (also deceased), a man with hooks where hands should be, and two white-faced women.

  • Dr. Georgina Orwell (deceased).  While alive, she was an optometrist, a phrase which here means “someone pretending to be an eye doctor but really spending her time hypnotizing children in order to steal their fortunes.”

  • Olivia, alias Madame Lulu (deceased).  Even if her intentions were good, she became a villain when, in the end, she gave Count Olaf what he wanted, not the Baudelaires as she had promised.

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Good members of V.F.D.

  • Lemony Snicket.  (currently collecting more information)  Whereabouts unknown.

  • Jacques Snicket (deceased).  Tried to help the Baudelaires in the Village of Fowl Devotees, but Count Olaf got to him first.

  • K. Snicket.

  • Beatrice Baudelaire.  Presumed dead.  If alive, whereabouts unknown.

  • Mr. Baudelaire.  Ditto.

  • R, the Duchess of Winnipeg.  If alive, whereabouts unknown.  Presumed captured or dead.

  • Ike Anwhistle (deceased).  He was Aunt Josephine's husband, in case you don't remember.

  • Ms. K., the teacher at Prufrock Prep who was hired and fired in TUAB.  Sometimes thought to be K. Snicket, although don't teachers usually go by their last names?

  • Hector.  I am putting him here because he might be in V.F.D.  A lot of people think he is.  Personally, I doubt it because even if the Baudelaires are being recruited and he wanted to see how they'd do on their own, he would have probably tried harder to save Jacques.

  • Babs.  It's a distinct possibility since she signs her letters “With all due respect.”

  • Gustav Sebald (deceased).  Developed Sebald Code and directed about a zillion B movies.

  • Sally Sebald

  • The cheesemakers

  • The Quagmires' parents.  Fact: Their mansion was green, just like the Baudelaires'.  Fact: The Quags are being pursued by Count Olaf.  Currently there is zero evidence that suggests they might be alive.

  • The married couple who own the Prospero

  • Julie Blattberg

  • A lot of random people whom we only know by their first initials.

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Clueless adults

  • Mr. Poe.  You would think the Vice President in Charge of Orphan Affairs at Mulctuary Money Management would do a better job of looking after the Baudelaires, but sadly, all he ever does is cough.

  • Justice Strauss.  I doubt she is in V.F.D.  She's too ditzy.  But there's a Judge Disguise in the (in)famous V.F.D. Disguise Kit, so anything's possible.

  • Dr. Montgomery (deceased).

  • Aunt Josephine (deceased).

  • Charles.  He's the guy from TMM who also failed to help the Baudelaires.

  • Vice-Principal Nero.  Anyone that stupid doesn't belong on the streets, let alone in V.F.D.

  • Jerome Squalor.  I feel rather sorry for him, but complete oblivion to what's going on around him is no excuse.

  • Hugo, Colette, and Kevin, unless Count Olaf has inducted them into V.F.D. by now.

  • Geraldine Julienne.  Someone needs to take away her press pass... unless she's really an associate of Count Olaf's.

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Other random bits of information

“The Count wears an eye on his ankle,
He lives in a horrible place,
He wants all your money,
He’s never at all funny,
He wants to remove your face...”

- From “Scream and Run Away,” as performed by the Baudelaire Memorial Orchestra

To “mulct,” as in Mulctuary Money Management, can mean to punish.  Whether intentionally or not, Mr. Poe is doing a very good job of it.

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