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A Series of Unfortunate Events
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V.F.D.

These days, most ordinary organizations go to a great deal of trouble to make themselves known to the world.  They make Web sites and TV commercials and take out those ads that show up on the sides of buses.  This organization is anything but ordinary.

V.F.D. is an organization that tries to ensure that the world remains, as they say, quiet.  Since the schism, it has not been easy.  That's about all we know about what they do, except that its members are disguised as various waiters, judges,  cheesemakers, fortune tellers, handymen, detectives, duchesses, dramatic critics, and cows.  Oh, and the good members of V.F.D. do not like fire.

What does V.F.D. stand for?
There are several possibilities:

  • Volunteer Fire Department (my guess)

  • Volunteer Family Detectives

  • Volunteer Fire Detectives

  • Whatever the members want it to stand for

  • Nobody knows.

The page in question (click to enlarge)BREAKING NEWS (7/7/03):  
Thanks to my friend R, who tipped
me off, I found out that page 229 of The Vile Village (the beginning of Chapter 13) has a picture of the Quagmires' notebooks and shows some of the writing.  According to him, the writing on one of the scraps reads “Fire,” and on another, “Depa.”  Obviously, I procured the book as quickly as possible in order to look for myself.  

The verdict?  Well, maybe, but then again, maybe not.  If you don't have the book, click on the picture above, which will open an enlarged version in a new window.

And just for randomness’ sake...
The V.F.D. motto in six different languages!  (Yay for translation Web sites!)

English: “The world is quiet here.”
Italian: “Il mondo calmo qui.”
Spanish: “El mundo es reservado aqu.”
Dutch: “De wereld is hier stil.”
German: “Die Welt ist hier ruhig.”
French: “Le monde ici, c’est calme.” *

*Note: This is the motto of the Veritable French Diner, a bona fide V.F.D. headquarters, complete with the sugar bowls.  No, I don't know the sugar bowl secret either.